You Win Some, You Lose Some

Hey people. Bad news. For me. Just a day before yesterday I posted about my going to Makkah with family and cousins for umrah this Saturday. But yesterday noon I received a news that turned my world upside down. Especially when I was all ready and raring to go. Those flights for December 2010 trip have to be canceled because the Saudi Arabia authorities do not accept visas at this time of the year. I was told that this has never happened before but it did this year. It's something concerning their public holidays at their place so the people there who are in-charge of the visas didn't work for a week or so, delaying stuff etc etc. I don't know the whole story. Gosh. I'm disappointed. Really.

Well, my dad told me a month before, that we might have some problems and advised me to prepare mentally if something suddenly went wrong. I was already teary-eyed then when I heard the news. But in the meantime, he and my mom would figure out a way to get out of this problem. And they did. They found a smaller travel agency for Umrah which has a good rapport with the Saudi Arabia agency. *It's a long story how these two relate to each other* And I thought everything was going to be fine when I got the news a week ago that everything was going according to plan. But I guess Allah knows better. So now our flights have been postponed to March 2011 I think. But what frustrates and worries me is that there's a HUGE possibility I won't be going for Umrah during that time, because I can't just ditch my studies and skip classes for two weeks. I don't think the university will allow that. ;((( But if they do, I am willing to risk everything. What disappoints me more is that my parents looked all relaxed like nothing ever happened yesterday. I mean, hello. Your daughter is in despair here. You should utter some words of encouragement. T.T

I feel so helpless right now. I know I shouldn't feel this way 'cos Allah definitely knows better. But I just can't help it. -.- Oh and my parents did promise me that they'll still take me for Umrah next time, but without my siblings. Hmm...I don't know if that's ever gonna happen. ;( And the thought of being left all alone here in Malaysia just terrifies me. Oh but don't worry people, I'll pass on your prayers and duas to my sister so she can read them in front of the holy Kaabah.

I feel so helpless right now that I trust everyone no more. This is one of those times when I'm losing faith in Allah. Be mad at me! Scold me people! I know it's wrong. It should happen the other way round. I don't desire this feelings! I'm making such a fuss right? -.- Hmm, I don't even know why I'm feeling so emotional. Well, just look at this from my point of view okay?

And my mom just texted me asking for us siblings' opinions on where to spend our vacation at this weekend. I don't feel like going anywhere. Thanks.

p/s: Takde rezeki -.- Maybe something greater and better is awaiting me. Say no more. Period.


Signing off,